The Single Parent & Trinity in NYC

I don’t like to advertise it, so I usually don’t talk about it, but with truthfulness, I’m a single-parent.  I didn’t choose this lifestyle; it chose me. It’s my fate and I have to live it, fully.

When I dreamed of becoming a parent, I never dreamed I’d be parenting on my own.  My castle-in-the-sky always had a King to partner with me in raising my young prince and princess.  I think many of us had this same dream of “partnership,” which today, is far from that Elysian-like dream.

We can choose to be bitter about it or we can move onward, seeing our situations as blessings—as they are intended to be. (And that’s not easy, I know!)

Moving to the fore is the reason I don’t discuss my solo-parent life. It brings a slew of questions, which I’d rather not answer because I don’t want to cast a negative portrait of my children’s father, and I don’t like pity. For some reason, I feel weak when I see sympathy for my situation in other people’s eyes, and I just want to keep strong—moving forward. And I’m far from single—alone.

In 2003, I introduced my children to New York for the first time.  Like most tourists, we traveled down to the Wall Street area.  There we saw Trinity Church; it was regal and strong, like a castle, to us. We walked in, sat in a pew, and as my children looked at the icons and stained-glass, I said to them, “We are like this church. We are a Trinity.”

Trinity Church Wall Street

And eight years later, we still refer to ourselves as a Trinity. We are not alone.  We are three.

Happy Mother’s Day to all of the other “Trinity” in NYC and beyond.



  1. Beautiful and timely given my thoughts today! I was actually thinking as I drove to work that I’d like to write not about my mom (gone 14 months now) but about the power & grace of single moms. I’m raising one child with a partner, so far, and the difficulties of that make me appreciate so much more everything my mom did to push me and my siblings through childhood. I wish I could’ve told her, as per the song of the same title, in “the living years.” Now to find other ways to carry her light forward 🙂

  2. Okay, Deb, that made my eyes tear–appreciating your mom is the best way to carry her light…Also, I just read your blog: You are FUNNY! I wish I was THAT funny!

  3. That one’s all my sister! She ran a marathon to raise money for the American Cancer Society, following which she sent me a few words and a picture to post on my blog. Oh, you’d better believe I spent most of Sunday weeping!

    As for the funny part? Thanks! I wish I could say I’m like that in real life. Somehow, I’m able to get a joke in here and there while writing, so I guess that makes up for how serious and “steadfast” I am in my day-to-day spoken life :p

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